Today we’d like to introduce you to Kathy Lyons.
Hi Kathy, we’d love for you to start by introducing yourself.
As a State Department child, I grew up around the globe, but our family always centered our lives in Northern Virginia. After completing a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree in Computer Science, I landed my first – and lifetime – professional job, met and married my husband, Tim (a Connecticut transplant), and raised three amazing children, Patrick, Michael, and Margaret in Northern Virginia. Tim worked for a home builder and found the perfect home for our family at the end of a cul-de-sac in a Chantilly neighborhood that quickly became the center of our friendship group. We shared 32+ years in that home, watching our children play various outdoor games while the adults played pickleball, traded gardening tips, and visited. Tim and I were very involved in supporting our children’s schools – St. Timothy Catholic School and later, St. Paul VI Catholic High School. Tim was the consummate handyman, crafting stage sets for fundraisers while I used my tech skills to produce sports videos and slide shows. We were equally committed to the kids’ sports teams, spending hundreds of evenings and weekends on the sidelines of Patrick and Michael’s football, baseball, and basketball games and Margaret’s softball, soccer, basketball and lacrosse matches. Honestly, our lives were embarrassingly stereotypical of the average suburban family.
That was true until Tim was suddenly diagnosed with terminal cancer. Throughout the year of Tim’s illness, and long after his death, our family was supported with love by family, and our wonderful friendship circle. Neighbors as well as friends from church and the kids’ schools brought food and comfort, decorated our home for holidays, and took care of many household tasks that I just couldn’t face. People say that it’s difficult to build close connections in urban and suburban locations, but our experience was exactly the opposite.
As a now single mother I went back to work full time, learned more than I ever wanted to know about plumbing and home repair, and re-evaluated how I might spend my approaching senior years alone. We did the best we could to imagine a future without Tim. I can’t say we ever reached a point of “normalcy,” but we slowly made our way forward.
And then it happened again. In the very early days of the Covid pandemic, Michael, aged 28 at the time, had begun to feel weak. Always the tough guy, we attributed it to anemia perhaps, overdoing it at the gym or work. That was not the case. Within days, doctors determined that Michael, too, had cancer and it had spread undetected, likely because he maintained himself as an athlete, personal trainer, and coach. Three weeks later, he passed away. on March 31, 2020.
For a time, I felt like I was living in a fog; nothing seemed quite real and nothing seemed worth doing. During the most challenging days and nights, the letters, notes, and testimonies from people whose lives Michael had touched were the only salve that worked. I read and re-read stories of Michael’s compassion for the “least of his brothers,” of his ability to motivate friends and team members, of his outspoken belief that everyone deserved a chance to succeed. Many of these voices came from the young men he had coached over the years; in particular, Michael’s JV basketball team at St. Paul VI produced a video of encouraging messages when he was ill and another for our family after he died. Each spoke of Michael’s deep compassion, his commitment to them as individual athletes, and of the courage and drive he had instilled in them. Those videos – and the hundreds of cards and notes from former players, teammates and coaches – inspired me, Patrick and Margaret, and other family and friends, to establish the Michael T. Lyons Foundation. It became a way to heal ourselves, but also it is a mechanism for carrying Michael’s legacy forward.
The Foundation is, of course, a way to honor Michael. Sports was Michael’s passion – playing sports, watching sports, coaching sports, talking about sports, and almost certainly dreaming about sports. Michael believed that sports encompassed every life lesson a person might need to be successful; leadership, teamwork, integrity, perseverance, adaptability, drive, focus, and even graceful acceptance of occasional defeat. The notes and videos we received from his players told us that he had passed those lessons on to those he coached. He himself had been coached by some of the best from ankle-biter football in Chantilly to college football at Monmouth and West Virginia universities. Most notably, Michael was mentored by Glen Farello, the head basketball coach at Paul VI Catholic School where Michael not only played, but ultimately coached the JV basketball team.
As the idea of the Foundation grew, our family realized that it really embodied a broader passion we all held – providing opportunities for every young person to learn and grow while also providing mechanisms for fostering strong mentorships through coaching. I knew from experience – and from my children’s frequently expressed concerns – that many families in the Northern Virginia area find themselves overwhelmed by the fees and expenses related to youth sports. For many young people, playing on a team that requires registration fees, specialized equipment, and transportation is just not an option. The mission of the Michael T. Lyons Foundation is to help youth play community sports, regardless of their financial situation. No child should be denied the opportunity to participate. No child should be left to watch from the sidelines. The Foundation website says it best: “The foundation was established to carry forward the values Michael lived every day: leadership, perseverance, service, and a commitment to helping others succeed. Through scholarships, mentorship, community partnerships, and youth programs, we strive to create opportunities that empower young people to learn, grow, and reach their full potential.“
With this idea, but no idea of how to actualize it, we began small – reaching out to family and friends, holding small fundraisers during basketball games at PVI, and attracting donations from local businesses. We thought we could develop a website and social media presence ourselves, but quickly realized we needed the assistance of professionals. Today, we are really proud of an outreach presence that blends professionalism with personal, family touches (Michael T. Lyons Foundation – MTL Foundation). We also recognize that we wanted to – or rather, needed to – broaden our support base, so we expanded our Foundation Board to include board members who have diverse skills and experiences. While we are just beginning to build the foundation, we’ve already raised more than $330,000 and assisted more than 450 youth. Unlike many foundations, 100% of donations are directed toward foundation efforts; the foundation provides financial assistance to offset registration, tuition, equipment and travel costs through direct donations to individuals and sport organizations.
We all face challenges, but looking back would you describe it as a relatively smooth road?
Establishing a new business – or a new charity – is not a smooth process. While I’ve always considered myself financially astute, I had never operated a business, established an organization, or even sat on the board of a 501c(3) charity. Familiarizing myself with the legal requirements of establishing the Foundation took an enormous amount of energy at a time when my emotional energy wasn’t necessarily at its peak.
Our family also willingly assumed a challenging approach to Foundation leadership. From the very beginning, we committed to valuing and incorporating each family member’s views because each of us had our own unique relationship with Michael. While we’ve always understood that even our close-knit family had different approaches and skill sets, we’d never needed to focus those differences to achieve a single goal. The challenge is that our personalities and approaches run the gamut from introversion to extreme extroversion, from highly sensitive to those with a practical focus, from technically-skilled to relationally-based. We are the Meyers-Briggs jumbo bag and suspect that Michael and Tim are chuckling as they watch us navigate our own personalities in addition to all the other challenges of building a successful foundation. We’ve chosen to see our differences as an asset, but it does require more time and patience than if I had chosen to make unilateral decisions. Ultimately, we believe that Michael’s legacy – and the mission of the Foundation – will best be served using our collective wisdom.
Perhaps most challenging to me is “the ask.” I was raised to be independent and take care of myself and I’ve tried to raise my own children that way. Establishing and managing a successful foundation requires that we ask – not only for donations, but also for assistance of other kinds. We are blessed with incredibly generous friends as well as many who have been willing to share their thoughts and ideas. We’ve learned that by reaching out to others – holding “focus groups” in our home, tapping into the experiences of others who are steps ahead of us in operating charities, and even hiring professionals – we will be able to reach more youth. We’ve had to hold that end goal in our sights when asking for help.
Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?
My professional career was very satisfying. I worked for the CIA for 35 years, then transitioned to the private sector for an additional 7 years. When I began working at the Agency in 1982, I was often the only woman in the office. I know it is a cliché, but I truly felt I had to work twice as hard to prove that I was just as capable as the men around me. At times, even my identity seemed secondary to the fact that I was a woman. When I would introduce myself in meetings, people would sometimes respond, “Oh, I’ve heard about you—you’re the girl in the office,” without even asking my name. Needless to say, I developed a pretty thick skin in those early years! But I persevered, continued to prove myself, and am proud to say that by the time I retired, things had changed significantly.
I was fortunate to travel around the world and meet people from all walks of life. Throughout my career, I had the opportunity to work alongside some truly wonderful people and contribute to a mission I deeply valued. The combination of the people I met, the experiences I shared, and the purpose behind the work made for an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling career.
Can you tell us more about what you were like growing up?
I guess I would describe myself as being pretty bold, independent, and high energy as a young person, but my parents and siblings would be more likely to say that I had a bit of a stubborn streak! I think my mother even tossed around the word “willful” a time or two! My siblings still delight in sharing stories of me knocking over a department store clothing rack in an attempt to escape my mothers’ firm handhold. I remember hiding in the coat check room at the Vienna State Opera House in Austria, pulling the mink coats around me for cover because I wasn’t ready to go home.
On the other hand, I was always the fastest to recover from any required discipline and the first to try something yet again. Because we moved frequently, my siblings and I learned to make friends readily and adapt to new situations. While neither of my parents were particularly athletic, they did encourage my siblings and I to play softball, basketball, and other sports. I think they recognized that it was a way to quickly build a circle of friends and a mechanism for channeling the energy I had in abundance. I played community and high school softball and basketball for years and am certain that playing was what kept me going in high school.
I was also committed to my Catholic faith from a fairly young age. In college, I was involved with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and the Catholic Newman Center and carried that devotion into my adult life.
Today, I remain active and enjoy playing pickleball and golf, hiking, reading, and traveling. I continue to be involved in my church and volunteer with several programs that are meaningful to me. I am blessed with two wonderful grandchildren, and I treasure the time I spend with them, as well as with my extended family and friends. Above all, my greatest passion today is my work with the Foundation and the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of young people.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.mtlfoundation.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mtl_foundation
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MichaelTLyonsFoundation
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-t-lyons-foundation-74078b3a3
- Twitter: https://x.com/mtl_foundation
